Bite me
by Lucy-Is-Evolving
Summary: <html><head></head>Arthur Kirkland moved to America 4 months ago and fell hopelessly in love with Alfred F. Jones. It was destined to fail but that wasn't going to stop them from trying. After several fights and a miniskirt or two they come to terms with their feelings however that won't make things any easier...</html>
1. Chapter 1: I want him

''Fearful of the dark yet I rest almost dormant, buried and concealed within your scarlet and velvety compassion. Sweet words of reassurance and ardour combined with the yielding lips resting delicately and cautiously upon my pale, fragile frame. Aggravation from sexual desire silently disperses however by no means is discarded and forgotten. Sick so as to no ill individual could possibly be capable of competing. Doll-like structure along with countless unrelenting, pleading and begging gazes yearn in good turn for greedily indulging in pleasure which can merely be inflicted by your forbidden touch. Orbs of love and devotion frantically attempt to convey what the tongue has been cruelly prohibited to do.

Beg.

Unable to have power over the bodies overpowering lust, the alternative is no longer mine…''

_Alfred F. Jones, you have rendered me speechless. It's so frustrating! I want to spill every emotion and sweet thought through my lips and into your ear with a sultry whisper. I know fine well that I can't and that I may never be able to…_

_That's the 6th poem I've written about him this week..._

''Your eyes could rip countries apart and send every individual on this god-forsaken planet into a never-ending war with their only prize to gaze into your beautiful orbs of sapphire blue. The sparkle in your eyes could put even the brightest star to shame, utterly humiliate every single one with only a glance from you. They couldn't possibly compare to you, my love. That blue is something I have never seen before. It's an insult to even call them blue; they are a great deal more. They are the colour you see when there isn't a solitary disheartening cloud in the sky. The colour you see when your mind is at ease, content and relaxed. It seems the cobalt eyes I've come to know could calm me down to a point of total relaxation with the knowledge that as long as you are there by my side I am completely out of harms way. They are the colour you see when you become breathless in every element, your whole universe freezes and that's identical to what happens when our gazes connect and ignite into a burning fire of passion and lust as my dull, broken green eyes meet your beautiful cerulean treasures.''

_Make that seven..._

''I am not worthy of such heavenly eyes to gaze upon a lowlife such as I. I am not worthy to watch that dazzling smile spread across your perfect sun–kissed face. I not worthy to watch your perfect topless body become soaked with sweat, the droplets glimmer in the bright American sunlight as you indulge in life's beauties. That perfect, tanned, beautifully sculpted body…''

_Fucking hell, Eight?! I've usually ran out of material by now..._

_I cannot deny it though. I crave to touch you; I yearn for your touch like a puppy awaiting its owners return. I desire nothing more than to be in those strong, sexy arms; being cradled and held like a defenceless child…_

But I am not a child.

My parents moved my brother and I to America only 4 months ago and so far it's been nothing but hell. England was beautiful, it was dark, grey and wet but that's how I liked it, the sunny American weather burned my pale, sensitive skin and I for one utterly detested it. It's not only the weather that pissed me off either, I was moved from my academically advanced private boarding school in England which strictly only allowed boys to attend, (Girls were not allowed on school grounds unless accompanied by a respected adult.) To an American hellhole for delinquents and future dropouts, it was a public school filled with what seemed to be the scummiest vermin they could find littering the streets. This school had no good education programs and just stepping through the doors made you feel like you were throwing your life away with every second you remained to be 'taught' there. I detested school with every fibre of my being. Well no, actually that's a dreadful lie to tell, I loved school. I just hated everyone in _this _school as well as their dreadful academic standards. I am far too advanced to be here.

Apart from the detestable weather and disgusting school, America all around was not one of my most favourite places. I wanted to go home and no I didn't mean the American home I currently resided in with my brother and parents. I meant our beautiful Victorian mansion in the English countryside where the rain poured nearly everyday, It was so tranquil and beautiful…

However now I am stuck living in a nightmare all because my fathers work had him relocated, God knows why he accepted, we were not exactly in dire need of money. We were quite a wealthy family. He insisted that the move would be an amazing new start for all of us but only I am smart enough to know it was only him that needed a new start. The rest of us were extremely happy but I knew he had been having an affair with that god awful cow that worked an office or two away from his. He would tell our mother he was working late when in reality whilst my mother remained clueless I knew exactly what was going on. Eventually this woman fell pregnant and attempted to pin the baby on my father, the baby wasn't his at all and just because the real father wasn't around (Her own fault for being a promiscuous tart.) She threatened to tell my mother and their boss about their affair so my father decided it would be a bloody fantastic idea for us all to be uprooted and tossed somewhere else and that just happened to be America. I still haven't forgiven him for what he's done and I hope one day he stands up like a man and tells my mother exactly what a stupid mistake he made. That changes nothing though; I still have to suffer the consequences in this foul country.

I live quite comfortably here in America though. I cannot complain about my living conditions. Our house is quite grand and beautiful but it's not a home.

I'm the youngest in my family but in no way am I treated well because of it. My elder brother's name is Alistair; he's 21 years old now, he's rude, selfish, arrogant and ignorant. He has fiery ginger hair and piercing green eyes. He has a thick Scottish accent because he was born and raised in Scotland most of his life, He was the fruit of my father's first marriage to a Scottish lady who passed away a couple of years ago, after her and my father divorced she drunk herself into an early grave so my father was given full custody of his son. I never had the opportunity to meet Alistair's mother but if she's anything like Alistair she will have probably been… strong–minded to say the least…

Then there is my mother, she's kind, beautiful, sweet…

How on earth she ended up with someone as stubborn and straight-forward as my father is an unsolvable mystery...

_I wonder what father would think about my feelings for Alfred F. Jones._

Let's get this straight… I am not...

I'm gay, I've known ever since I was a little boy. Eventually the mildly amusing and ridiculously absurd phase of ''cooties'' died down. You know what I mean. ''EW! Don't kiss a girl! They have cooties, that's icky!''.

Obviously for most boys they realised they actually rather liked sharing saliva with girls and it became cool to be able to do so but that phase never died with me… I always thought the idea of being intimate with women was repulsive.

That being said Alfred is not just a boy. He has gorgeous blue eyes and messy blonde hair with a ridiculous but attractive cowlick. His body is tanned and beautifully sculpted, He loves sports, as a matter of fact he's captain of the school football team. What hurts the most is that he is so unattainable. I don't stand a bloody chance against the beautiful girls on the cheer squad!

Another thing you should know about me is that I have my own special seat in the school library beside a window. I tell everyone I sit there because I like the view but what I fail to mention is that the view is actually Alfred running around the pitch getting all hot and bothered. I feel like some kind of stalker but if you could only lay your eyes upon this beauty…

Then you would understand…

* * *

><p>It was just harmless flirting, that's all it was and all it will ever be! It was a joke! Yeah, nothing but a running joke…<p>

_That is bullshit, the biggest amount of bullshit I think I've ever heard! It's pathetic and laughable…_

_You're a mess Alfred, Pull yourself together. Isn't he just a joke!? He's nothing more than a running joke, right?! That's exactly what you said!_

_That's not the truth though is it, Alfred? The truth is that your flirting isn't meaningless and you know it. You can't deny it forever!_

_You know you want him, Alfred. You love the way he licks and bites his soft, pale pink lips teasingly while he gazes with lust and desire into your eyes. You love those eyes and you would give anything to stare into those gorgeous orbs of emerald until the day you breathe your last breath. You would leave bruises and love bites all over his pale skin. You want to strip him down and do the most wickedly pleasurable things to him. Just admit you want him. Admit how much you want to shove your cock down his throat while he looks up at you with those perfect eyes. You can't deny it anymore Alfred!_

I can't deny it anymore…

Who am I kidding…?

I wanted Arthur Kirkland.

I wanted him so unbelievably bad…

* * *

><p>Alfred sat in the cafeteria caught in his own little world as the reality he lived in was slowly progressing without him, He didn't mind and he didn't particularly care. He had a lot to think about…<p>

''Hey, Al? You alright there, sugartits?'',

_Sugartits. Sugartits?! Of all the names Gilbert could have possibly called me he decided that sugartits was the way to go?!_

Alfred turned to face his over-excited friend as bright cerulean eyes met with a dark blood red. He didn't give much expression as he slumped over the table and watched the white-haired adolescent perform a small but effective eyebrow and hand dance.

Wait scratch that he decided to add in some shoulder action too.

Alfred groaned in frustration, ''What do you want, Gil? I'm really not in the mood. Plus FYI never call me sugartits again, you sound like a tool.'', The American grabbed his almost empty can of coke and gulped it down before throwing it to the bin and missing. Gilbert let out a short chuckle, ''Walk of shame, Asshole. What the fuck has got you so pissy? Did someone shit in your McDonalds breakfast?'', Alfred got up to put the empty can in the bin and sighed deeply ''No, shit for brains. I just have a lot on my mind.''. Gilbert nodded slowly before beckoning him closer with his finger. The blonde American shuffled forward so Gilbert could whisper to him, ''Listen up, I'm only telling you once. The school is holding a secret cupid week…''. The bespeckeled American brought his face back as he gave his friend a bored look.

''Seriously? First off all what the fuck is that and second what makes you think I care?...''.

Gilbert rolled his ruby eyes. ''It's where you can send letters and gifts to anyone you've… taken a fancy to…'', the white- haired adolescent spoke the last part with a mischievous tone and winked playfully. ''Not to forget that you will receive any that were made for you…''.

The albino shrugged, ''They have to tell you who they are by the end of the week though, If you don't do it the principal will pull you up in front of the whole year and make you admit your feelings. I repeat, in front of everyone. I see what they're trying to do but it could end badly…''.

_You could tell him…_

_You could tell everyone…_

The blond groaned, ''you're forgetting I don't like someone.''

_You like someone, Alfred…_

Alfred winced lightly as his thoughts played with his heart and mind over and over again. Kind of like flappy birds except he would be smashing his head against his bedroom wall instead of his phone. Gilbert chuckled, ''Oh really? You sure there's no one?''. Alfred growled and spoke in a mumble.

''There's no one. Leave me alone I don't want to talk right now.''.

Gilbert rose from his seat, ''Stop being such a fucking dick.'' He swiftly turned and walked away leaving Alfred sitting alone. Alfred didn't care, that way he could think.

* * *

><p><strong><em>Hai! :3 I'm Lucy. I know this first chapter was a bit scattered around and wasn't the best but I actually started 2 different stories and I didn't want to abandon them so I put them together. This also isn't as long as I would have liked, I apologize. PLEASE REVIEW I'll update really soon. ILY <em>**


	2. Chapter 2: I need him

_Why don't you just pick up the phone and talk to him? Why not say you've forgotten what the English homework was and you need to copy his notes?..._

_Alfred that's a stupid idea. You know you would get too nervous to put together a proper sentence and say something stupid…_

_I really don't want to go to school tomorrow but it's the last practice until the big game and if I don't show up the coach will bench me for sure…_

_I have English tomorrow. No, Fuck Arthur sits behind me doesn't he? Why does he have to sit behind me? Jesus, it's embarrassing…_

_I need to wash my hair tomorrow morning, It might be greasy and if he has to spend a period looking at my hair I want to make it look so soft and irresistible that maybe he'll reach out and touch it…_

…

_I sound like such a fucking dickhead right now, what the fuck, dude?! I mean I know you want him to touch you and shit but you sound like a 12 year old girl talking about her favorite band member…_

_Just go to bed, Wash your hair in the morning and for the love of Ronald McDonald, play it cool, Shit for brains!_

…

_It's funny, isn't it? What being in love can do to a person? I used to spend nights partying and not giving two shits, more importantly I was so far up my own ass I could take a dump through my mouth. It's all changed…_

_Now I spend night after night worrying whether I'll ever be good enough or whether I'll ever get to hold him and love him, I worry about what he thinks constantly. Does he even know I exist? What if he's completely forgotten who I am? We haven't spoken in a while…_

_Just like that I hated everything about myself, my only cure was him and he was out of my reach. I need him so fucking bad…_

_I hate myself for it…_

_There are only two reasons why you should be up at 4am…_

_Reason one: You got so drunk you got sent to the hospital and are now getting your stomach pumped._

_Or Reason two: You're in love._

_I can't decide what's worse._

* * *

><p><em>I could feel the butterflies building up in my stomach. School had already started! That absolute wank stain should already be in class! Who does he think he is?! Being late to a class?!<em>

_But what if it wasn't his fault? What if he's sick? Maybe he's hurt?..._

_I don't care if he doesn't even look at me, I want him to be here. In front of me. He should be here and I'm worrying myself sick to death about him just because he hasn't showed up..._

_He doesn't even care about you, Arthur. So why do you try?..._

_I try because I'm hoping one day he'll do the same for me..._

The door of the old English class swung open leaving everyone silent and shocked. There stood the blue-eyed American, out of breath and... Shirtless?!

''I-I'm sorry I'm late, S-Sir! It won't happen again!'', Alfred blurted out while trying to catch his breath as quick as possible. The old, uptight teacher who went by the name of Mr. Haddow was practically purple in the face with rage. He waddled over to the American and slammed the door. ''Alfred F. Jones! How dare you show up late to my lesson! Inappropriately dressed at that! What in god's name happened to you!?''. Arthur couldn't help but drop his gaze from the handsome American's face to his tanned torso...

_Fuck, he's so perfect..._

''S-Sir you don't understand! I was walking to school and this beautiful black cat was hit by a car! I-I didn't know what to do so I phoned for help! I used my top to wrap the little angel up so it would be warm a-and then help came just in time! I-It nearly died! I-I couldn't just leave it! I'm so sorry, sir! I couldn't leave that little angel all alone!''.

The American was on the verge of tears, his love of animals could be matched by no others. The girls excitedly chattered about how sweet the American was. Haddow didn't seem to be very touched as he decided to issue Alfred a detention.

Arthur sat in his seat wide-eyed._ He just saved a cat's life?! Lucky cat, Imagine getting wrapped up in Alfred's clothes as he held you close..._

Arthur let his thoughts consume him as Alfred took his seat in front of him.

_I'm jealous of anything that gets to touch him..._

* * *

><p><em>FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK.<em>

I watched it squirm uncomfortably on the ground, it was so beautiful! I couldn't let it die! I didn't give a second thought to whipping my phone out of my pocket and calling help whilst I stripped off my top wrapping the black cat up very carefully as to not move any broken bones she might have. How could that bastard just drive away?! I was going to be late for school but the cat's life is my only priority at the moment. If I walk in late it will be really embarrassing... and in front of Arthur too! Shit, This can't get any worse...

I watched a professional white van arrive as several people hurried out carefully scooping up the cat and retreating back inside the van without hesitation. ''W-Wait! My shirt!''. I felt a sense of panic as they drove off without even saying a word to me.

It was too late. They were already gone. I can't walk into English topless! I'm going to embarrass myself in front of everyone...

In front of Arthur...

I'm starting to think I'm getting punished because I love him, maybe if I had him everything would be alright...

I sat on a nearby bench to collect my thoughts. It was a beautiful day but there was a storm in my mind. I felt tortured. I wish I had never met Arthur. I can't stop thinking about him and I'm so confused...

He's so beautiful, I just wish I could hold him in my arms and watch that adorable smile as his eyes light up. At the same time I hate him. I hate him so much because my heart feels like it's being squeezed and it hurts so badly. I need him but he won't even look my way...

I'm so confused.

I got up and began running to school, If I ran fast enough maybe the thoughts would disappear. They didn't. They intensified.

_SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! _

My mind wouldn't stop screaming to me and I just wanted to stop. Arthur isn't mine. He never will be, Leave me the fuck alone!

That's when I crashed into my English classroom, Panting and defeated. All eyes were on me but I was only looking at one person. My heart wrenched every time I saw him. Fuck, that stunning incubus...

Mr Haddow pulled me out my thoughts and honestly for once I'm glad he did. Arthur was fucking me up inside.

''I-I'm sorry I'm late, S-Sir! It won't happen again!''. I was still panting, I look like an idiot right now. I could feel everyone's stares but Arthur's was burning into the side of my face. Mr Haddow slammed the door and glared at me, this guy scared the shit out of me.

''Alfred F. Jones! How dare you show up late to my lesson! Inappropriately dressed at that! What in god's name happened to you!?''. His voice struck me like lightning and that's when I realized I still didn't have a top on. I just wanted to sit down, Wasn't I humiliated enough?!

''S-Sir you don't understand! I was walking to school and this beautiful black cat was hit by a car! I-I didn't know what to do so I phoned for help! I used my top to wrap the little angel up so it would be warm a-and then help came just in time! I-It nearly died! I-I couldn't just leave it! I'm so sorry, sir! I couldn't leave that little angel all alone!''.

I hardly had the energy to speak anymore but I didn't have to. Haddow slammed his ruler down on a desk and issued me a detention. Fucking brilliant. I took a deep breath and finally went to sit down, I heard the girls around me giggle as some of the boys were catcalling me like a bunch of fucking retards. Douche bags.

''What do you think you're doing?'' Haddow spoke slow and with a dull tone. He sounded scarily like Snape from Harry Potter. I wouldn't be surprised if I looked up and it _was_ Snape.

''Sitting down?''. I looked around the room, I was really confused at this point. I thought I was excused!

''Looking like that? I do not think so. Go to the school lost and found and find yourself something to wear.''. I groaned and got up. Knowing my luck I would end up with some horrible Christmas jumper from 2 years ago. I walked to the door, dragging my feet as I went.

''Arthur Kirkland. You're a smart, responsible boy. Can you please escort our 'town hero' to the lost and found? I do not wish for him to come back wearing less clothes than before.''.

I froze. I could feel a cold sweat breaking out. _Not him, Please anyone but him. I'm not ready to talk to him yet! _I turned round and our gazes met properly for the first time. He was staring at me with an almost concerned expression. He looked so fucking adorable.

''Yes sir.''.

His accent dripped off his words like toffee from an apple. Maybe one day also hopefully his taste from my tongue...

I exited the room and stood out in the corridor my heart racing like nothing I've ever felt before.

I heard the door close behind me.

We were alone.

* * *

><p>''Arthur Kirkland. You're a smart, responsible boy. Can you please escort our 'town hero' to the lost and found? I do not wish for him to come back wearing less clothes than before.''.<p>

I felt my heart beat stop as I stood up shakily and looked over at the gorgeous American. Our eyes met and I felt my heart explode. His eyes are beautiful, filled with love and passion...

''Yes sir.''.

I watched Alfred leave the room quickly and although I was nervous about being alone with him I had no intention of passing the opportunity up. I walked outside and closed the door behind me and there he stood...

His torso still with beads of sweat upon it. his dirty blonde hair fell over his face slightly as that one adorable cowlick stood up proudly.

Our gazes met again and we stood there for a couple of minutes just staring at each other.

And for a moment I couldn't help but think...

That maybe he felt the same way as I did...

* * *

><p><em><strong>OK I KNOW THIS ISN'T AS LONG AS I WANTED IT TO BE AND IT KINDA SUCKS BUT I'M HAVING REAL TROUBLE TRYING TO SEPARATE THEIR THOUGHTS FROM THEIR ACTIONS. I DO NOT ENJOY THIS FEEL.<strong>_

I HOPE YOU LIKED IT ANYWAY PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW IT GIVES ME MOTIVATION!


	3. Chapter 3: I lost him

We stood in silence apart from a shuffle or a sigh. Our eyes would connect momentarily before one of us would look away. ''That was an extremely heroic thing you did, Alfred…''. I tried to conceal the nerves hidden in my voice. He seemed to grow a faltered smile as what appeared to be a slight blush crept over his tanned cheeks. ''I just did what any other decent human would. I'm no hero…''.

''You are to me.''.

Everything went silent as my breath hitched and I turned to look out of the window. It was raining outside, usually I found the rain calming and reassuring however in this moment it did nothing to help the building tension between me and Jones…

_I wonder what he's thinking…_

_That was a stupid thing to say, Arthur…_

I cleared my throat and turned to face the other, I expected him to still have his eyes fixed to the ground but as I turned my heart dropped in my chest as I realised he was glaring at me. His eyes were ripping me apart as he remained still, keeping the eye contact. I felt my cheeks light up as the fear and nerves began to gnaw at me. ''I… Uh… Think we should go get you appropriately dressed. D-Don't you think, Alfre-''.

''Why are you so nervous?''.

I felt a layer of cold sweat form on my body as my heart began palpitating. Our eye contact remained as if set in stone. I couldn't look away.

_Tell him why you're nervous, Arthur. Tell him just how nervous he makes you…_

''Rest assured, Alfred F. Jones. I am in no way nervous.''

_Your voice is wavering, Arthur. He's going to know. He's going to hate you. He's going to think you're disgusting..._

His blue eyes narrowed and he laughed in an almost mischievous tone. ''Don't lie to me, Arthur... Do I scare you? I don't mean to scare you... I'm not some jerk. I'm sweet… If you would get to know me you would kno-''.

''I would like that.''

Our worlds seemed to slow down, maybe even halt completely. Why did I say that? What made me say that? He broke eye contact and looked out the window, clearly deep in thought._ He didn't mean it in that way, Arthur. He's just thinking of the many ways he can berate you._ I watched him closely; I would sell my soul to know what he was thinking right now. _Pretend it never happened. Maybe he'll forget._

''Alfred, We really should go to the office. I am leaving now, your choice whether you follow or not.''.

I sighed and quickly walked past the jock. I didn't want to look at him anymore. I'd messed things up and I had only been with him for a couple of minutes. It felt like years. I couldn't control my feelings enough to play it off; maybe if I had he would've given me a chance…

I made my way to the lost and found. I didn't bother turning the lights on, my life was dark anyway. The move had really fucked me up, I have pretty much no friends and now I've completely messed up any chance with the most perfect boy since Jesus. I could hear footsteps approaching. I wish he would get his stupid shirt then get out. How dare he be so perfect? So tempting? How fucking _dare_ he!? It hurts so badly, like my heart strings are being used as a skipping rope. I don't want to look at him unless I'm in his arms.

…Or strangling the git.

The American walked into the room calmly. His thoughts were still controlling him as he wouldn't look anywhere but the floor. I felt around the massive box in front of me, I couldn't see but I wasn't prepared to go turn the light on now.

My hair stood on end as I felt the American's breath on my neck. _How did he get over here so fast?! I didn't even hear him!_ I felt my heart pounding but it didn't stop there. I felt him pull back my blonde hair behind my ear as he brought his lips millimetres from my ear. I dropped the articles of clothing I held in my hand as my breathing became irregular. 'A-Alfred what are you doing?!''.

''Look at me, Arthur.''. _I couldn't take this! He's just playing with me!_

''Not until you answer my bloody question! What in fuck's name are you doing?!''.

He pulled back harshly and growled in frustration before kicking over a chair with extreme force. I jumped and let out a small squeak as the chair hit the floor with a crash. His blue eyes burned into me now as I could do nothing but stare back.

''I'm sick of this, Arthur! Playing these stupid fucking games! It's been months! Months of the flirting and the risky jokes! I'm sick of being just another guy to you! You can't tell me that it hasn't crossed your mind that maybe I had feelings for you! The jokes were just used to cover up the truth! I'm trying to make a fucking move and you're pushing me away like I'm some sort of sex offender! Don't you know how hard this is for me to admit?! Admitting I have feelings for another guy is bad enough! It's even worse when those feelings are for someone so _clearly_ out of my fucking league! I'm done with this! You're all I think about 24/7 and it's depressing me knowing I can't have you! I'm done with this, Arthur. I hate this feeling! I hate the feeling of not getting what I want! You're what I want! So why don't you stop teasing me and then pushing me away!?''.

Silence.

Just silence.

He was panting, gasping for air. He looked angry but also on the verge of tears. I hated seeing him like this but at the same time it was so sexy…

How do I respond? I wanted to pour my heart out telling him that I had the same feelings. That I wanted him too…

However I was frozen in both shock and fear.

I couldn't tell him.

I didn't have the balls.

He was right there…

But I couldn't speak.

He shook his head in disgust as he grabbed a t-shirt and quickly pulled it over his head. He laughed darkly and pushed over another table before striding angrily to the door.

''You can't even say sorry. You can't even say sorry for hurting me.''

He turned to face me again with those blue eyes like fire scorching my heart. My voice cracked out a pitiful reply.

''A-Alfred! I-I-''.

''Save it. Fuck you. Don't come anywhere near me again or you'll be fucking sorry.''

Just like that he stormed out the room and slammed the door leaving me in the darkness.

''B-But… I love you…''.

I felt the familiar warmth or tears as they rolled down my cheeks as I held my head in my hands. The realization had finally hit me but unfortunately it was too late.

I was madly in love with Alfred F. Jones.

Completely and undeniably devoted to him.

I would die for him.

But does that mean he means that much to me? Or that I mean that little to myself?...

Either way he was gone.

I'm completely alone.

* * *

><p><em><strong>I KNOW I ENDED THIS ON A HORRIBLE NOTE AND I KNOW ALFRED HAD A SUDDEN PERSONALITY CHANGE BUT ALL WILL BE EXPLAINED IN GOOD TIME. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR STICKING WITH THIS STORY I'M SORRY MY UPDATE WASN'T VERY QUICK BUT I'VE HAD SOME VERY SERIOUS HEALTH ISSUES RECENTLY AND I KNOW YOU'LL UNDERSTAND THAT IT'S NOT ALWAYS EASY FOR ME TO WRITE. THANK YOU AGAIN PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW WHAT DO YOU WANT TO HAPPEN NEXT?!<strong>_


	4. Chapter 4: I'm trying for him

_I couldn't sit through any classes after that. After I left Arthur whose face was adorned with the expression of a kicked puppy I came straight home, I couldn't face the rest of the day and I knew it. My heart was broken completely. It took everything I had…_

_It took everything I had._

_I told him, I thought over and over until my brain turned to dust but I decided to do it. His skin was as soft as I imagined it would be…_

_His hair too. Like the threads of love a cloud is sewn from…_

_I told him. I told him how I felt. I let him know everything._

_He didn't say a word. Not a single damn word. I poured my heart out and risked my sanity on making a move and he couldn't even politely reject me! Doesn't he owe me at least that?!_

I opened the door of the house I shared with my brother Matthew and slammed it harshly behind me. I was alone now. In my home I was safe from the eyes of the people in the world who just wouldn't understand my pain.

I was free to cry.

I let the tears roll down my cheeks as the anger built up again. I was safe from everyone but him because although he couldn't see me I never stopped seeing him.

I can't forget him. I wanted to so bad. I wanted this pain gone. I wanted him gone from my memory.

_I would cut off my own hands if it meant forgetting how perfect he felt on my skin._

_He doesn't want me the way I want him._

_I want to move on._

_I hate him._

_I hate him._

_I hate him._

_I love him._

_I love him so much to the point I can't breathe because he's taken away my air._

_That's why I hate him so much._

_I love him._

_I hate him._

_Fuck, I can't even decide anymore!_

_This is tearing me apart!_

I threw my schoolbag to the floor along with one of the dining chairs. I didn't give two shits whether it was broken I'm too busy trying to fix my broken heart!

_Maybe I was too harsh on him.  
>I didn't give him the chance to speak…<br>What if I'm the one who ruined it?..._

It was going to be a long night.

* * *

><p>The bell rang signalling the end of school and a certain Englishman jumped out of his seat at the sound of it, he had to get to the library before Kiku left. Kiku had been Alfred's best friend growing up until eventually their interests became far too different to continue a strong bond and they subconsciously parted ways. Arthur knew that if anyone could help him it was Kiku. He quickly opened the doors leading into the school library and collided with a student going the opposite way. They both fell to the ground and Arthur rushed to pick the other back up. ''Jesus! I'm so sorry! I really ought to pay more attention to where I'm goin-''.<p>

There stood Kiku, The small Japanese boy Arthur had set out to find. Kiku rubbed his throbbing head and winced in pain. Arthur smiled happily and grabbed the other by the shoulders maybe a little too hard. The Japanese boy's eyes widened in shock. 'Thank god I've found you! If you wouldn't mind could you please give me Alfred's address?''. The raven haired boy loosened up and smiled softly. ''Ah! Alfred? Of course.'' The small Japanese boy carefully took a pen from behind his ear and wrote the address of the blonde bombshell on the back of Arthur's hand. ''He lives with his brother, Matthew. Matthew's in book club until 8pm tonight though so if you waned to talk to Alfred alone today would be best.''. Arthur gave the smaller boy a confused look. ''Wait. Matthew's in book club until 8pm?''. The brown eyed male put the pen in his shirt pocket and smiled.

''Well… That's what he said. I know he's been hanging around with Gilbert a lot recently... That may have something to do with his book clubs sudden time extension. You didn't hear that from me though.''.

Arthur nodded with an amused expression, ''Well thank you Kiku, You've been a great help! Must dash though!'', Arthur imitated tipping his hat and made his way down the corridors as fast as humanly possible.

_I'm about to do._

_A stupid, reckless thing._

_For the sake of love._

Arthur pulled out his phone and entered the address that was given to him into a search bar. The phone gave him directions and Arthur sighed deeply.

_Here goes nothing…_

* * *

><p>Alfred's phone rang. He wasn't going to answer it, not now. He'll call Matthew back later. He needed to be alone right now.<p>

_It was too early for me to tell him…_

_I messed it up._

_If I had just showed him how fun and awesome I am he might have given me a chance…_

_I made the wrong move at the wrong time and now I've fucked it up. I shouldn't have told him. I shouldn't have told him…_

Alfred grimaced when the door went, He couldn't let anyone see him in this state. No one sees the hero cry. The blonde reluctantly got off his bed and dragged himself down the stairs, he felt sick with heartbreak and he didn't even feel like eating. He just hoped whoever was at the door would fuck off and leave him alone.

''Who the fuck is it?!''

…

''Hello?! Are you fucking deaf?! Who the fuck is it?!

…

No reply? Alfred didn't actually want to open the door but he could tell whoever it was at his front door was still standing there and didn't seem to have any urge to leave anytime soon.

The American slowly opened the door and immediately closed his eyes. He had been sitting in the darkness of his home for a couple of hours so the sudden stream of daylight wasn't welcomed by his sensitive eyes. ''Fucking hell, Stupid fucking sun always gets in my fucking ey-''.

Alfred opened his eyes and they adjusted to the light and revealed a smaller boy standing there before him. Blonde, good-looking…

_Arthur._

The boys stood in silence. There was a billion questions running through their minds and both wondered if the other would allow them to ask them. Arthur sighed, trying desperately not to make eye contact. ''I-I need to talk to you…''.

The American glared down at the other with a mixture of venom and passion. ''You might as well come in. I have quite a lot to say to you too.''.

This could go one of two ways. Both were secretly hoping for the same thing.

* * *

><p>''Why are you so nervous?''<p>

I didn't understand at all. Arthur is clearly fucking with me here. Why is he shaking like that? Does he even know he's doing it? What is ''You are to me.'' meant to mean? This is so out of character...

He's usually quite sharp-tongued and smart...

We held our eye contact but he just looked so scare-

Wait. Did I scare him? Did I scare, Arthur? I've never given him a reason to be scared of me, have I?!

''Rest assured, Alfred F. Jones. I am in no way nervous.''

I can hear it in his voice, It's wavering like crazy. Almost breaking. Is he scared of me? God no, I didn't want him to be scared of me! This isn't what I fucking wanted!

''Don't lie to me, Arthur... Do I scare you? I don't mean to scare you... I'm not some jerk. I'm sweet… If you would get to know me you would kno-''.

''I would like that.''

...

Wait... He isn't scared of me? Does he like me? Is that why he's so nervous? Why would he want to get to know me? I don't understand any of this he's completely fucking with me!

What if he's not though...

What if he likes me? I think Arthur likes me!

Oh my god, Arthur Kirkland likes me. Arthur Kirkland likes me! I mean sure he hasn't said it and I don't know for sure but he has to like you! It's the only explanation!

I smiled with glee and turned to face him but he was already gone. Shit, I was daydreaming. He must have left already. I should catch up with him, I have so much to ask him! I quickly skipped down the the lost and found. (It was a completely manly skip though, I promise.) I walked into the room and for some weird but adorable reason Arthur was searching through the lost and found in complete darkness. He's such a weirdo but... I want him to be my weirdo...

I had to tell him, this could be my only chance! How do I even confess? My feet seemed to move on their own towards the dreamy blonde and I lost all self control, I had to touch him!

So I did...

God, his skin was so soft...

His hair was soft too! It smelt like mint. I don't know why it turned me on as much as it did but the smell of mint really gets me going. Of course the boy of my dreams would use mint shampoo...

I needed him. I loved him. Oh god...

''A-Alfred, what are you doing?!''

I wanted to see his beautiful eyes, I wanted him to be mine. I want him.

''Look at me, Arthur.'' I could feel his body start to tense and I immediately backed away. He was angry?..

''Not until you answer my bloody question! What in fuck's name are you doing?!''.

Fuck this. I'm done with this game. I'm done. I tried. I tried to show him I care but he wouldn't even fucking look at me! Is this a fucking joke to him?! Does he like playing with my fucking feelings?! I was angry. I was so fucking angry. I turned round and growled deeply before kicking over a chair.

HOW FUCKING _DARE_ HE PLAY WITH MYFEELINGS LIKE THAT?! BUILD ME UP THEN TEAR ME DOWN!

''I'm sick of this, Arthur! Playing these stupid fucking games! It's been months! Months of the flirting and the risky jokes! I'm sick of being just another guy to you! You can't tell me that it hasn't crossed your mind that maybe I had feelings for you! The jokes were just used to cover up the truth! I'm trying to make a fucking move and you're pushing me away like I'm some sort of sex offender! Don't you know how hard this is for me to admit?! Admitting I have feelings for another guy is bad enough! It's even worse when those feelings are for someone so _clearly_ out of my fucking league! I'm done with this! You're all I think about 24/7 and it's depressing me knowing I can't have you! I'm done with this, Arthur. I hate this feeling! I hate the feeling of not getting what I want! You're what I want! So why don't you stop teasing me and then pushing me away!?''.

I stared into his eyes, I wanted an answer. All I wanted was a fucking answer. Anything! Please!

I clearly wasn't getting one. What a little dick! He toyed with my feelings then threw me away when I acted on mine!

I'm done.

I grabbed a shirt and headed straight for the door, Pushing over a table on my way. I'm going home. I need some time alone.

''You can't even say sorry. You can't even say sorry for hurting me.''

''A-Alfred! I-I-''.

''Save it. Fuck you. Don't come anywhere near me again or you'll be fucking sorry.''

I could feel the tears coming on, I wasn't going to cry in front of him. no way in hell. I turned round and left slamming the door behind me and then I let it out. I cried and a whole fucking lot. I had to get home. I had to get out of here. I had to get away from him...

My heart was broken.

* * *

><p><strong>This wasn't as good as I wanted it to be and yes it's a flashback but some of you wanted to see Alfred's point of view s I gave you it. there may or may not be a little smexytimes in the next chapter or two but you'll have to wait and see ;) Ily so much please review it honestly gives me the motivation to continue writing...<strong>


	5. Chapter 5: I'm hurting for him

There was a deathly silence as Alfred led the smaller boy upstairs. Every stair that creaked raised the tension. Arthur could feel the uncertainty build as he realized he had no idea what he was going to say. He hadn't had time to write an apology and confession in his head. The long stairway came to an end as Alfred pushed open his bedroom door and walked in quietly, he was very out of character and it was borderline terrifying to Arthur. Arthur followed the other into the rather big and colorful room, Arthur expected the American's room to be close to a pig sty but it was immaculately clean. There was a lot of blue. There was Xbox's and PS3's everywhere, why did he even own so many? Surely you would only need one…

The American silently sat on the end of his bed and blankly watched the other admire his room; Arthur's expression was full of wonder, curiosity and confusion. Alfred couldn't help but wonder what the small blond was thinking about but he couldn't bear to look at him any longer whilst he was still trying to get over the heartbreak. The blue eyed teen cast his gaze to the floor as he broke the silence.

''Why did you come here? Haven't you hurt me enough?''.

Arthur's face fell as he tuned in to the Americans words; he turned to face the other and sighed deeply both out of despair and love. ''Oh, Alfred… I didn't mean to hurt you…''. Alfred isn't the type of guy who listens to words. Arthur knew he would have to do so much more to make up for the mistakes he's made. The green eyed adolescent carefully sat beside Alfred and placed his hand on the others knee, he didn't want to go too far yet, Alfred might not want anything to do with him and he would have to accept that.

Alfred's face reddened, the pain of not being with Arthur romantically was almost unbearable. Alfred looked up and their eyes connected and something inside both of them snapped.

* * *

><p>I walked upstairs slowly with Arthur following behind, I had no idea what was going to happen or what he was going to say. Maybe he just came to tell me how much he hated me, although Arthur doesn't seem like the type to give a damn. I opened my bedroom door and sat on my bed as Arthur walked in and looked around. He looked so happy, so cute...<p>

That just made the hole in my heart tear open again as I looked away. I just wanted this to be over and done with so I could sleep for 3 days straight. ''Why did you come here? Haven't you hurt me enough?''. I could feel his stare as he turned to face me, I didn't look back.

''Oh, Alfred… I didn't mean to hurt you...''

_Jesus Christ, I wish he would stop that. Can't he see how perfect he is? Can't he see how much it hurts? He knew he was going to hurt me he's just bathing me in sympathy!_

I felt his dainty hand on my knee and my heart sunk, I didn't even notice that he had sat beside me! I turned to look at him. He was already looking back. I just gazed into his eyes like a mouse in the owl's grasp, I couldn't look away his eyes were too beautiful. I felt myself become lighter as a pool of heat started bubbling in my abdomen. I loved him so much and I don't know how much longer I can go without him.

''Alfred...'', His sweet voice pulled me out of my trance as I answered him shakily. ''Y-Yeah?''.

''Kiss me.''

* * *

><p><em>I had always known that when I found the one I was truly meant to be with my heart would let me know. You can love others but only with your mind, You know you have found the one you are meant to share the rest of you life with when you can love them with your heart. I didn't expect to fall for someone so rowdy and loud, My soul mate is a nuisance and completely useless in every way imaginable. However his heart is solid gold and his love for me could be tested by nothing in this world and I've fell so deeply in love with him that if I was asked to die for him I would. I've found the one and I'm not going to let him go.<em>

_First I need to get him in my arms..._

_Starting with his lips placed upon mine._

* * *

><p><strong>This chapter is unbelievably short to the point its laughable but I just wanted to tell you guys that I'm not dead but I'm going through a move (house) and my mental health is really really bad right now so although updates wont be that consistent I'm not giving up on this story. I was having trouble writing this one I'm finding the POV really hard to do... I hope you enjoyed this little cliffhanger to keep you all interested xD<strong>


	6. Chapter 6: I'm hiding from him

The tension shrouded the two and made their stomachs churn with worry and excitement. The blue-eyed bombshell backed away slightly in both surprise and confusion.

''You want me t-''.

''Yes, Alfred. I need you to kiss me.''.

_That certainly didn't make anything easier to understand… _Alfred let himself drown in his thoughts. Earlier today he thought he would never be able to hold Arthur like he wanted to. Now Arthur is sitting on his bed, gazing into his eyes and asking for a kiss…? Alfred looked deep into those emerald jewels for answers but found only another question.

_Don't you love me too?..._

''I had hoped… This moment would be more special…'', Alfred spoke in a whisper; The small blonde pulled back slightly, watching Alfred with confusion. It was true Alfred had wanted his first kiss with Arthur to be like a movie scene… Fireworks, Rain… Maybe even both at the same time. Not like this… not used as some make up present for a fight….

''I can't.''

Arthur pulled back, visibly hurt. Was he not good enough? Was there someone else? Arthur began to shake; he couldn't understand this emotion… hurt? Anger? Betrayal?...

Love?...

''What do you mean you can't?! Y-You bloody- Kiss me already!'',

''Arthur… I can't. Not here, not like this…''

''What do you mean?!'', Arthur felt the familiar sting of tears on his cheeks as he came to the realisation he was crying. ''I've tried so hard to get you to notice me! After you play with my feelings the games over and you don't want to know anymore?!'', Alfred stood up in a panic, ''N-No! That's not it! I want to kiss you Arthur bu-'',

''Just stop it! If you don't want me I'll find someone who does!''. Arthur was enraged. The tears streamed down his face as he stormed out the Americans room and took his leave.

Before Alfred could explain himself the bedroom door was slammed shut…

Just like that Arthur was gone.

But Alfred wasn't quitting yet. He still had one more chance. He just couldn't fuck it up.

Alfred picked up his phone in a hurry and dialed the number of his fiery friend, Gilbert.

Arthur was going to be his. He wasn't letting him go without a fight.

* * *

><p>''And don't forget it's our secret cupid week! If you want to give a gift to your friend or lover please put your name down in the canteen! Thank you!''.<p>

The announcement rang through the school corridors. Only half of the students ever paid any attention usually Alfred never did but today he sat in anticipation as the words rang in his ears. He had a plan.

As soon as the bell announcing lunch rang Alfred was sprinting to the canteen. He had told Gilbert to meet him there and warned him that there would be a fine if he was late. The canteen was full of excited adolescents.

Alfred found Gilbert and smiled at him as he put his name down on the sheet. ''What are you getting him?'' Gilbert's eyes shone with mischief before he furrowed his brows as he saw Alfred put his name down for ever single day of the week. ''Wait... every day? How many gifts are you getting him?!'', Alfred smiled at his friend and shrugged, ''I might have something up my sleeve...''. Gilbert pulled his friend out of the canteen and took a deep breath. ''Don't overdo this Alfred, You're already on thin as fuck ice.'', Alfred waved off his friends warning. ''Dude, I got this! It's all going to be okay! Arthur's gonna be mine by the end of the week!''.

Alfred saw the doubt in the other's face and it angered him slightly, ''Look. I know what I'm doing. I have a week to prepare!''. The albino nodded his head, ''This in your last chance, Al. Don't blow it...''. Alfred walked over to his locker with pride and opened it as Gilbert followed, ''Are you sure you want him?''. The American's head snapped round, ''What?! Of course I want him!''. Gilbert threw his hands up in defense, ''Dude, I just mean you fight all the time and you aren't even together! Are you sure he's who you want? It's not like you don't have options, you're the captain of the school team!''. There was silence for a minute as Alfred searched around in his locker before finally closing it.

''Arthur isn't like the rest... He's smart, He's ambitious... He's fucking gorgeous... I really do like him, Gil... I know we've fought. I want to change that...''.

Gilbert nodded before turning his gaze to the small blonde walking towards them, ''Alfred who is that?'' Gilbert's jaw was practically on the floor. Why had he never seen this guy around before?! Alfred turned round and smiled, ''Hey! Mattie what's up, bro?''.

''I just wanted to tell you that I was talking to a rather annoyed Brit on the phone earlier...'', Alfred winced at the words and waved it off, ''Aha! Yeah... I'm working on that!''. Matthew pouted, clearly trying to be angry. ''You hurt my friend, Alfred! He isn't in today and it's all your fault!''. Alfred looked at his brother with genuine worry, ''He's not in?! Is he okay, Mattie?!''.

The conversation droned on in the background while Gilbert lost himself in his thoughts. He looked at Matthew, entranced. Taking in every movement he made.

Matthew was smaller than Alfred but he was just as handsome, He had pale doll-like skin and fluffy blond hair with the most beautiful lilac eyes. Matthew was Alfred's younger brother but he was hardly ever in school because of medical reasons and when he was in school no one ever paid much attention to him. He spent most of his time in the library, which would explain why he was talking to Arthur. Gilbert gazed like a puppy looking at a stick. He was gorgeous! Why had Alfred never told him he had such an attractive younger brother?! Gilbert pulled himself together and smirked mischievously.

''Hey, Doll~ I'm Gilbert but you can just call me awesome!'', Gilbert winked at the younger boy as Mattie's cheeks went bright red, ''I-I uh... Hello Gil... I-I'm Matthew...'', Alfred rolled his eyes and faked a theatrical vomit as he walked away. Gilbert took a pen out his bag and took the others hand. Matthew let out a squeak of surprise as his hand was held but soon calmed down as his hand was let go. Gilbert ruffled the others hair and walked away with a wink. ''Call me sometime, Baby-doll~''. Gilbert soon went after Alfred as Matthew looked down at his hand.

Matthew could have fainted, Things like this never happened to him. No one EVER liked Matthew.

Yet Gilbert had given Matthew his number.

Matthew smiled shyly, Things were looking up.

* * *

><p>''I hate that god awful, American tosser.''.<p>

Arthur sat in his room staring at his wall. He didn't want to talk to anyone but himself. _I can't believe you cried over him! I can't believe you let him fool you like that! _Arthur groaned and looked over at his phone. _At least Mattie was up for talking... _He hated burdening the adorable Canadian but he really was his only friend apart from Kiku. Arthur never opened up to people and so it was very rare for him to establish relationships of any kind that were worth continuing. Plus the Canadian was related to Alfred, Therefore he could relate to Arthur in a lot of ways, They both found him unbelievably annoying but also undeniable lovable.

Dear god did it hurt...

_I wish I could forget him. I don't want to know him anymore... I thought he could have actually been the one. I felt a connection... I felt everything I was supposed to..._

_But if it was love he would've kissed me._

Arthur then did something he hadn't done in a very long time. He told everyone he had grown out of it and that he wouldn't be caught dead doing it now but the sad truth is that Arthur loved it more than anything in the world.. It made him feel confident and sexy. Something he doesn't tend to feel often. Of course considering the chaos his house often descended into he never had time to do it.

But now he could and he was going to.

Arthur Kirkland loved to cross-dress.

* * *

><p><strong>Lel hi.<br>It's been a while.**

**Sorryyyyy :(**

**I've been under a lot of pressure. Since I can't attend school anymore bc mental health I have to complete a whole course without a teacher. R u srs education system? So obviously as much as I love fan fictions I haven't had enough time to devote to it. I will continue this story even though I've been feeling a little uninspired and it's a complete mess. I know my chapters are short I'm sorry I just want to keep updating because I know how much it sucks when they never update their stories. Anyway I really hope you enjoyed this and the little plot twist at the end. Btw sorry if you don't ship PruCan. It's actually one of my OTP's and I just decided to add it in bc I never see it anywhere and it's such an underrated ship ;-;**

**Anyway I hope you enjoyed this bbys.  
><strong>

**XxXxX See you next chapter! XxXxX**


	7. Chapter 7: I'm going to show him

Arthur loved alone time in general but this was when Arthur's bedroom became his own personal sanctuary. Arthur took this time very seriously considering how little it occurred. The curtains were drawn as Arthur lit many rose and mint scented candles. His emerald eyes glinted in the candlelight as he placed them around the room, especially in front of his beautiful, Victorian dressing table. It was decorative and coloured ivory, the mirror was polished to shine and the drawers were full of beautiful jewellery as well as high quality makeup. Arthur was not vain however whenever he had the chance he would entirely indulge in his guilty pleasure which also meant exploring his sexual and promiscuous side. Once he had prepared the room he walked into his bathroom and sighed deeply. His face was puffy and dry from all the crying. Arthur ran a deep, hot bubble bath and lit more candles. The scent of the piercing mint and soothing roses gave him goose bumps.

This was Arthur's favourite part.

Arthur carefully removed his clothes and gasped as the cool air hit his pale, bare skin. He slid into the warm bath and didn't bother to suppress a slight moan, why should he? He deserved this. The scent filled Arthur up and he felt free, relaxed.

_Don't think about him Arthur. You are beautiful. You are special. You're going to pamper yourself and I want you to remember just how irresistible you are._

A smile graced Arthur's face as he thought. That's right. He was beautiful. Arthur's eyes scanned the room as he picked up the razor and a bar of soap. Arthur couldn't stand body hair, it utterly repulsed him. Arthur extended his pale leg and carefully lathered the soap all over it before carefully taking the razor and gliding it over his skin. He repeated this with the other leg as he let himself melt into the bubbles around him. He loved how smooth his skin felt. He shaved the rest of his body and cast the razor to the side. His beautiful green eyes looked to the left as he took the argon oil extract shampoo which had a strong mint undertone and matching conditioner and washed his hair. This was his favourite hair treatment. If grace, elegance and sophistication had a scent this would be it. It strengthened his hair and made it shine. As he raised himself up to grab the chocolate face mask he planned to use the cold hair hit his chest and his pale pink nipples reacted immediately. Arthur let out a small giggle which is something he rarely did. He was in his element and he was happy, He had completely forgotten about the fight with Alfred…

Although…

Arthur couldn't help but let his mind wander. It would be perfect if he could share this moment with a special someone…

Arthur applied the face mask and lay back, letting his eyes flutter shut.

Oh yes, It would be perfect… Arthur had many fantasies but perhaps his biggest dream of all was to be a sexy little housewife for some lucky guy. He would never admit such a shameful thing but it was true. Arthur spent his life being strong and opinionated. What he longed for was a strong man to tell him what to do, make Arthur his little pet… his little housewife. Arthur had practiced his cooking but still couldn't get the hang of it. He wanted to be perfect. He wanted to be played with. Secretly Arthur knew Alfred would fill that role very well however given their current situation he pushed that to the back of his head. Arthur knew what he wanted. He wanted someone to call master. Arthur felt his cheeks burning. Even thinking such thoughts made him feel naughty.

Arthur washed off the facemask and felt his skin, it was radiant. It was tight and glowing of youth, perfect.

Arthur carefully got out of the bath, wrapping a towel around himself as he drained the water and blew out the candles. Arthur felt completely relaxed but now came the fun part…

The English beauty stepped into his candlelight bedroom and dried himself off. He cast the towel to the side and walked over to his dressing table picking up a small silver key. Arthur unlocked and opened a drawer he liked to call his secret sin drawer. His eyes glinted with mischief as a smirk spread across his face.

_Come on, Arthur… Why don't you show Alfred just what he's missing out on?_

Arthur bit his lip, He did love a challenge. The emerald eyed teen carefully pulled out an extremely sexy white lingerie set, Arthur laughed at himself lightly. _Oh how scandalous…This is so out of character for you, Arthur~_

_Or was it? Maybe no one got to know you long enough to discover that you are infact a very naughty boy~_

Arthur blushed a deep red, was he really a naughty boy? Did that therefore mean he had to be punished?

He slipped on the lacy white one piece; it was adorned with little red fabric roses. It was stunningly sexy especially on Arthur's pale, curvy body. Arthur had corset trained for quite a while, he wanted an hourglass shape. Although his ideal body hadn't yet been achieved he was well on his way. He looked positively striking. Next he slipped on the long white stockings with the same fabric red roses as before. He attached the suspenders from the one piece onto the stockings and even he knew how amazing he looked.

Like an angel ready to be defiled. He carefully put on some white heels and an almost transparent, short, white nightdress on top. It was positively alluring and Arthur knew it. The English beauty then took the hair extensions from his dressing table. They matched his hair perfectly and went down to his mid back. He carefully put them on and brushed them through before putting his hair into some adorable bunches, He looked angelic but there was still one last thing he had to do…

His emerald eyes studied his face carefully as he began to apply his makeup, Arthur was already very feminine looking but also very talented at makeup. In no time he looked like a sexy but sweet teenage girl. You wouldn't have guessed in a million years that Arthur was a boy. He smiled at his work in the mirror and wrapped a white collar around his neck and a red rose hair clip to his hair.

He took a deep breath in. He felt beautiful but something was missing. Something he hadn't needed before.

Arthur sat on the end of his bed and sighed. He needed Alfred and he knew it. He wished and prayed that any moment now Alfred would open his bedroom door and take one look at Arthur's feminine state before losing every shred of self control and tearing off Arthur's clothes before having his way with the beautiful English masterpiece.

Alas he never did.

Arthur decided to take some photos, it's not like anyone would see them, right? They were for Arthur's pleasure only.

Arthur was a natural born model and considering how gorgeous he looked it was impossible to believe he wasn't professionally signed. Arthur was amazing in front of a camera…

Arthur laughed to himself after taking some pictures. He honestly felt a lot better now. However he did feel lonely.

Suddenly Arthur had an idea. A risky but devious idea. Next week was secret cupid's week… Arthur was going to give Alfred hell. It's about time he put his cross dressing skills to the test.

He would teach that American the one lesson everyone should know.

Do not fuck with a Kirkland.

Because a Kirkland can mess with your mind and body to the point where it's unbearable.

Arthur was going to tease his way into Alfred's heart and leave it broken just like Alfred did to him.

Arthur was going to be the biggest whore in the whole school; He was going to make Alfred endure every second of it.

….

**Damn, two chapters in a day? I must be feeling hella guilty xD I'm going to upload this later though. But yeah everything just got spiced up and this is going to be hell im suddenly really excited in this story again guys!**


	8. Chapter 8:I'm confronting him

The days passed slowly and Alfred grew more anxious every day. Cupid's week was nearly here and Arthur still hadn't showed up to school at all. Alfred continued to blame himself for the fight and everyone had begun to get worried about Arthur's whereabouts. No one had heard from him, not even Matthew who had begun phoning the Brit every 3 hours. Not to mention the angry voicemails which truthfully never sounded that threatening…

''Have a good weekend students! Don't forget that the secret cupid week will begin on Monday! Best wishes!''.

Just like that the bell sounded throughout the school causing everyone to jump from their seats in a rush to evacuate the premises.

Alfred however stayed in his seat.

As the bell rang he felt his heart break and he was so miserable he didn't even feel anything. There was nothing but silence as he stared off into the distance, he sat alone in the empty classroom and he could feel it getting colder. Alfred was numb.

_He hadn't came in…_

_It was all my fault…_

_It is all my fault…_

His thoughts swam around his head as his heart throbbed with loneliness. Slowly and shakily Alfred rose from his seat, breaking the miserable silence with the screech of the chair legs being dragged back against the cold, hard floor. Alfred didn't even wince; his face was still frozen in an emotionless expression. Arthur hadn't showed up at all…

Arthur hated him.

_Arthur hates me…_

Arthur wanted nothing to do with him.

_Arthur wants nothing to do with me…_

Arthur wanted him dead.

_Arthur wants me…_

The familiar feeling of a tear rolled down Alfred's cheek as he swallowed harshly, His breathing was irregular as he spoke the last word with both fear and sadness. His voice cracked, he didn't even have the strength to fight anymore.

''…Dead…''

* * *

><p>''Alfred, You haven't left your room all weekend! I know you're hung up on Arthur but you have to get over him! I hate seeing you like this!''<p>

''Y-You haven't see me like this! I-I've been in here all weekend!''

Matthew inhaled sharply and pressed his forehead on the door, glaring at the wood as if he could melt it with his mind. ''Alfred F. Jones…''.

A whimper was heard from the other side of the door. Alfred hid under his bed sheets in fear. Matthew looked cute and innocent but he was actually scary as fuck if given reason to be. The voice continued, striking more fear into Alfred's heart.

''…You open this door right now and stop acting like a smartass or I swear to god…''.

…

''You don't want me to break out the hockey stick, do yo-''

Just like that Alfred swung the door open and retreated back to his bed in sheer terror. Oh, god… _Anything_ but the hockey stick. Not after the accident…

Matthew gave out a long sigh and sat beside Alfred on the bed. ''I haven't been able to contact him…''. That didn't give Alfred reassurance; Alfred let out another loud sob and threw himself back onto the bed. ''I'm sorry, Al… I know you cared about him…''.

''I love him, Mattie…''. Alfred sniffled as Matthew sighed deeply, ''Alfred love is a strong wor-''.

''And I mean it! I love him! I love him! I love him! I love him!'', Alfred curled up into a ball as he sobbed in frustration. The lilac-eyed adolescent got up and left the room silently, closing the door quietly as he went.

_BEEP._

His phone screen lit up and he ran a hand through his hair before checking his messages.

_BattyBumBoy:_

_I'll be in tomorrow._

Matthew laughed quietly to himself at the name he had assigned to Arthur in his contacts before returning to reality and texting back.

_Do you have any idea how worried everyone's been?! What happened?! _

Matthew sighed and waited patiently for a response and jumped when his phone went off again.

_BattyBumBoy:_

_It doesn't matter. I'll be in tomorrow._

Matthew sat his phone on the nearest table and took a deep breath. This was all so stressful, Arthur was acting weird.

_BEEP._

Matthew watched his screen for a moment as it lit up again.

_BEEP._

Matthew burst into fits of laughter as his friends texts displayed on the screen.

_BattyBumBoy:_

_You better not still have my name saved as ''BattyBumBoy''._

_BattyBumBoy:_

_You fucking do, Don't you?_

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><p><strong>I know that this chapter is small and incredibly disappointing and stuff.. I don't think I've updated for about a month... Any of you that have stuck around for a while will know why I haven't been updating... I am not quitting on this story but I can't promise updates considering my condition is unpredictable. im so so sorry about this i feel terrible...<strong>


	9. Chapter 9: I have him

Arthur took a deep breath and admired himself in the mirror. Long, blonde hair tied into two adorable bunches? Check. Makeup done perfectly symmetrically showing off every gorgeous feature he had? Check. Corset for an irresistible feminine shape? Check.

The outfit? He looked delicious even if he said so himself. He was far too proud of his little creation…

Truthfully Arthur had spent nearly a week sewing, cutting and stitching. It had paid off big time everything fit perfectly. He wore a tight fitted white blouse; it was very feminine and smart. Most of the top buttons were undone just to add even more excitement. The sleeves went down to his elbows very similar to the black blazer's sleeve length; he wore the blazer on top of the shirt to add class and sophistication. A lazily done burgundy tie hung around his neck; truthfully it just added sex appeal… He was ready half undressed. All you need to do is finish it off, plus it was just another thing to pull…

However on top of the blouse and below the blazer was a very risky article of clothing…

Instead of a skirt Arthur decided to go with a 'pinafore'…

It was a burgundy tartan, the same colour as the tie. However it was short, bending over even slightly meant you could look up it with ease. It was very tight around the waist only accentuating the wonders the corset was doing to Arthur's figure and the straps were aligned with his nipples only to be that more of a tease, you would be surprised how such a small detail could add so much more sex appeal. Mostly because it gave you an exact idea what you would find if you managed to undress him…

He tucked the tie in and smirked, if the definition of tease was an outfit this would undeniably be it. He added thigh high socks and patent heels to the look as well as thick rimmed glasses, All of which were black in colour.

He was ready. The outfit? Check.

* * *

><p>''Good morning students! Today is the first Cupids day of the week! All gifts assigned to you will be left in your locker by a respected member of staff during the second period. Remember students if you don't admit you were the one to send the gift before the end of the week you'll have to confess in front of the whole school. So make love happen I have ships that need to be cano- Anyway… Have a great day and good luck!''<p>

The announcement cut off as the bell rang signalling the start of second period. The halls were full of excited chatter and wolf whistles, Alfred didn't understand why until he reached his second class…

He sat as his desk with a frown engraved on his face; his blue eyes didn't sparkle anymore. They were dull and glassy and if you asked him why he would always reply the same thing.

''_I lost the light in my life…''._

Everyone had begun to get worried, this just wasn't Alfred. He had stopped attending football practice altogether and he wasn't even eating. Matthew had no idea how some boy could have such an affect on Alfred but he did… Alfred was lost, he had no one to impress and no motivation.

''Sorry I'm late…'',

Every set of eyes turned to face the individual who had just entered the room, usually they would just check who it was and go back to writing but this time every single pencil and jaw hit the floor. Everybody was snapped out of their drowsiness as they tried to process what the hell was happening. Alfred wouldn't have bothered to look if it wasn't for the sound of 28 pencils hitting the floor in shock. His tired blue eyes trailed up until they focused on the person and suddenly they gained a whole new life.

_Oh my god! It's Arthu-_

_Wait._

Alfred's heart began beating like snare drum as he felt his body break into a cold sweat. Alfred trailed his gaze from the angelic face right down to the high heels. He couldn't even think straight but one word kept prevailing…

_Mine._

Alfred wanted him so bad. So, so bad. He wanted to be the only one with permission to touch him. Silky pale thighs and soft fragile hands… Alfred wanted it. Alfred wanted Arthur. He could imagine the moans and the whimpers he wanted to draw from Arthur's lips. Everything, he just wanted everything. He wanted to see him smile after he had given him something special or told him something he wouldn't tell anyone else. Was he jealous of the attention Arthur was receiving?... Not really. Alfred was territorial. Arthur already belonged to him in his mind and no one else would so much as try to take him away or else they would never walk again. That wasn't a threat. That was a promise.

The wolf whistles started up again but most just stared in shock. Alfred could feel the anger bubble inside his chest as he shot daggers at nearly every member of the class. His breathing became frantic as his mind screamed at him violently.

_No... No he's mine! He belongs to me! Don't you dare talk about him like that! Don't you dare look at him like that! He's- _''Mine!''.

The class fell into a deathly silence as all eyes turned to face Alfred. The anger and heartbreak turned to unfiltered rage. He was embarrassed and that only made him so much angrier, He was shaking with fury as he balled his fists. Arthur let his gaze catch Alfred's and they both would be in denial if they claimed they didn't feel the explosion of hate, anger and love burning inside them. They both had the same thought. They both wanted the same thing.

_Mine._

* * *

><p>The bell announcing break sounded and everyone made a hopeful dash to their lockers. Arthur didn't wait around. He knew if he did Alfred would try to talk to him and he wasn't going to give in yet. His plan was only half complete.<p>

As Arthur approached his locker he watched his fellow students surprised glares with amusement. He opened his locker to find a letter and a beautiful red rose tied with a pink ribbon. Arthur felt a blush creep onto his cheeks as he pressed the rose against his nose. It had a beautiful fragrance meaning that it was a real rose. ''Oh… how thoughtful…''. Arthur curled his lips into a smile as he carefully opened the letter, he didn't want to rip the envelope so that he could take it home safely and read it again and again.

_''All I want is your reckless intentions that liken you to the Goddess Nyx._

_All I want is your laugh surrounding me at 4am when I need to be awoken by 6._

_All I want is your hand in mine as I show the world my most precious treasure adorning._

_And Darlin', All I want is your soft kiss goodnight and your passionate but rough kiss good morning._

_All I want is your smile when I'm feeling blue._

_All I want is your gaze sparkling like dawn's perfect dew._

_All I want is your trust as I show you what love is._

_And Baby, All I want is your warmth as under mistletoe we kiss._

_And I know I'm not poetic or smart._

_But that takes mind and not heart._

_And I guess what I'm saying is I'll give you mine..._

_Even though that it's all that I've got...''_

Arthur hadn't even noticed as the bell had rung signalling the start of third period he also hadn't noticed the tears streaming down his cheeks. So much for the makeup...

Arthur tried to compose himself but he couldn't, he just cried harder.

That was beautiful... and it was for him but even though he should have been happy he was overwhelmed with sadness.

He wished it was Alfred. He tried to stop himself from thinking that, he really did...

But he couldn't.

And that made him sad. The fact he had fallen so deeply in love with someone who it would never work out with.

''I'm sorry...''.

Arthur's knees felt weak as he turned slowly, he covered his face in embarrassment as not to show the other the makeup dripping down his face. He sobbed louder as he felt the heartbreak burrow into every fiber of his being. He wanted to be alone. He'd made a goddamn fool of himself!

''Arthur... I love you.''.

Arthur's breath hitched he removed the hands from his face to see a teary eyed American staring back. ''God, Arthur I love you... I'm so sorry... I wanted to kiss you but I wanted it to be special... I wanted it to be something to remember. Please forgive me, Arthur. You're breaking my heart.''.

Arthur sniffled as he stared at the other with widened eyes. ''D-Did you write this?!'' Alfreds heart pounded through his chest as he pushed a piece of hair behind Arthur's ear shakily. ''Y-Yeah...''.

There was a moment of silence as Arthur wrapped his arms around the others neck. ''Alfred... I'm sorry I acted like this... I've been such a bitch.''. The blue eyed adolescent ignored him. ''Arthur, You look beautiful... If it's not too much to ask... Can I kiss you now?''

_Arthur remember the plan._

_You need to make him pay for what he did._

_You can't give in this easily!_

_Remember the plan!_

_Fuck the plan._

Arthur laughed through his tears as he nodded, Alfred exhaled shakily before softly pressing their lips together.

_And maybe I always knew he was the one for me. I was fighting a war that I'd already lost. I knew from then on that those were the lips I would kiss for the next 60 years and I don't regret making that decision. I never ever will._

They both saw the fireworks as the butterflies in their stomachs spread their wings and flew. As Alfred pulled back softly they both knew that everything was going to be ok... They didn't have to be alone anymore.

''I love you too, Alfred... I'm sorry I look like such a mess.''. Alfred laughed nervously and held the other close, ''You're beautiful... but we better get out of here before a teacher catches us, you can come back to mine since we already kinda skipped third period''.

Usually Arthur would say no but he couldn't turn down an angel with a smile as white as snow.

* * *

><p><strong>So I thought about it and I've decided to end this story here. It was going downhill and I'm not intrested in it anymore. If I did continue it wouldn't be good quality so... Yeah. I'm going to finish here. Thanks so much for the support please review.<strong>


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